The Breastfed Baby

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Earlier today while I was breastfeeding Faith, she had her first scare.  I didn’t scare her.  She scared herself!  Poor thing.  She was half asleep when she lost suction while I was nursing her.  Her mouth made a loud noise when she lost her suction, and instantly her arms flailed wide, and she threw her head back, away from my breast.  Her body went rigid.  Her little mouth drew into a deep frown.  Her face began to get red, and then she just wailed!  And wailed, and wailed and wailed!  I had to stop nursing for awhile just to hold her upright and console her.  She was so upset.  Once she was able to continue nursing, her breathing came in hitches after bawling like that.  I felt so bad for her.  She scared her own self lol!  Poor thing.

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Baby Check-up

Well, I no longer feel in control.  I don’t know what to do.  Feeling hopeless, and very frustrated due to my lack of knowledge concerning all of the pregnancy complications that could very well happen to me now.

The doctor wants me to go to the hospital tonight.  I said no, and I scheduled another baby check-up two days from now, but I am wondering if I made the right decision.  I went in for another routine urine sample, blood pressure check, weight check, cervical exam, non-stress test, and ultrasound on baby Faith.  Everything looks great except that my blood pressure was 140/83.

My BP is going back up a bit, but everything else was fine.  I weigh 166.  Urine sample came back fine.  Ultrasound was great.  I got a cute little picture of Faith’s ear (which, by the way, looks just like Aaron’s ear.)  I have attached earlobes, and Aaron has detached earlobes.  Faith has Daddy’s earlobes.  Big surprise.  She is Daddy’s little girl, like I’ve always said :)

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The non-stress test was great; baby’s heartbeat is strong, and her movements were frequent.  However, I’m having no contractions.   The doctor said I am 1 1/2 centimeters dilated, and 70% effaced.  No big change for weeks now, and since my BP is climbing up again… he wants to induce.He said he would like me to go to the hospital tonight and have a medication called Cervidil applied to my cervix to help me dilate and efface more.  I would stay overnight and be monitored.  The next morning they would start Pitocin, and I may deliver in the afternoon sometime.  He then told me that I would be at a higher risk for a c-section; around 30% compared to 10 to 15% if I were to just go into labor on my own.  What if my cervix is still not ready for birth after the Cervidil is applied?  Sometimes Cervidil doesn’t work.  And what will happen when the Pitocin triggers strong contractions, but my cervix may not be ready for birth yet?  I would be in for a long hard forced-labor, which in turn would pose the inevitable possibility of an epidural and c-section.

Although the baby is not in distress, the placenta is still working perfect, and my tests are all ok … I’m being told that my blood pressure is still a concern, and that as more time passes it can just get worse.   It sounds like my inducement is for preventative reasons, instead of a medical emergency.  I’m indecisive on what to do, and I’m extremely upset about this.  I’m feeling defeated already, and labor hasn’t even begun.

Part of me thinks I should just go to the hospital tonight because if I wait 2 more days for the next baby check-up only to find out that I’m still not progressing, then I’ve wasted 2 days stressing over this and most likely having my blood pressure rise even more due to anxiety.

I’m just sitting here.  Please help me pray for answers.

4 More Days … ?

I got a call from my doctor.  The blood and urine tests came back normal, except I’m slightly anemic.  I’m taking ferrous sulfate. 325 mg twice a day.  So far, the iron hasn’t made me feel nauseous.  I’m so glad because when I started prenatal vitamins in my first trimester, I got sick from the iron in them.

Well it’s Father’s day!  I got Aaron a little gift.  He’s a big Star Wars fan :)

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What would be even better is if baby-girl arrived today.  C’mon Faith!  Get here already and say hello to your Daddy!  I want to put a big pink bow on your head, and put you in your Daddy’s arms.